Abstinence
by luna-magic-2005
Summary: Sequel to ‘All in Moderation’ They say the longer you wait to have sex with the man you’re in love with, the better the sex will be. But the clock is ticking, and Kagome finds she just can’t wait anymore… Sessh/Kag


Standard disclaimer applies.

Abstinence

By: Luna

...

Am I ugly?

This was a very important question Kagome asked herself repeatedly as she glared at her boyfriend of one year while he mingled with important guests at a business convention. How long, exactly have they been together? How long has it been since she left Inuyasha standing in the middle of the Higurashi Shrine's courtyard to sleep over at Sesshoumaru's house – even though_she_ hadn't planned to sleep at all.

Sesshoumaru, however, had apparently intended to do just that. Sleep. As if she weren't squirming with enough sexual tension to last her through the night. All he did was spoon with her the entire night, and in such a close cuddle, she would have felt it if he was, lets say, _up_ to the challenge of seduction.

He wasn't.

In fact, he seemed to have dropped off to sleep the minute his head hit the pillow. Kagome had been surprised he hadn't woken up at all throughout all her squirming. Did he even desire her? Perhaps, at first, they had started seeing each other because they were comfortable with each other; they knew who each other really was or had been, and they knew the truth about the past. But Kagome genuinely loved Sesshoumaru. Wasn't it only natural that she desired him as well?

So what did that say about Sesshoumaru's feelings towards her when the most he ever felt like doing was to make out every now and then? Did he not find her desirable? If that were the case, Kagome needed to find out. If he didn't desire her like she desired him, the relationship was going nowhere. Despite her love for him, Kagome would still leave him. After all her back luck with love and the heartache she received from it, she felt she deserved to at least find a man who both loved _and_ desired her. Love couldn't really be love without _making_ love… right? Otherwise, she might as well be in a relationship with herself.

Why doesn't he want me, anyways? Kagome thought with frustration, gulping down the last of her champagne. She glared at his back one more time before leaving the ballroom and walking out to the balcony, her face turned up to the full moon. She wore a strapless white satin gown and kept her hair loose, the only decoration a white lily tucked behind her ear. He had given it to her right before they left his house. He hadn't even smiled. Just tucked it behind her ear, kissed her cheek, and helped her into the car.

"You look like a moon maiden, bathed in moonlight."

Blinking, she turned and stared at a good looking man leaning up against the doorway of the balcony doors with a smile on his face and an offered cup of champagne. Kagome smiled and took it from him, holding the glass under her nose so the bubbles could tickle her. "Thank you. It's been a while since someone gave me a compliment."

He looked surprised. "Really? But you're gorgeous!"

Laughing, she sipped a little champagne and then set it aside. She had already drank too much tonight and she wouldn't disgrace herself or embarrass Sesshoumaru by getting drunk. "Thanks again. I'm Kagome Higurashi."

He smiled. "Sasuke Watanabe. You're in my building."

Brows rising, Kagome looked over the beautiful gardens that spread before her starting from the base of the balcony. "Wow, I'm impressed. This whole place is very beautiful."

Sasuke's eyes were warm as he slowly looked her over, appreciating how ethereal she looked with her wavy black hair falling carelessly over her shoulders, that large white lily tucked behind her ear. Her white satin dress hugged her breasts in the empire style while the skirt flowed loosely around legs. She wore a strand of pearls around one wrist, bringing attention to her delicate bone structure of her thin elegant hands and fingers. Out of her entire vision of white, her blue eyes sparkled like jewels from her pale, lovely face. His smile deepened. "_You_ are very beautiful. What would you say to you having dinner with me? Tomorrow night?"

Kagome immediately blushed and ducked her head a little, glad that he found her so attractive. Sesshoumaru never really gave her compliments… "Sorry, but I can't."

He cocked his head to the side and studied her before reaching for her hand. "Then how about a dance?"

"Just one! I am here with someone, you know." Kagome said as he led her to the dance floor.

"Could have fooled me," He said lightly as he pulled her towards him, the first strums of a waltz starting. "I haven't seen you with anyone all night."

That hurt. Not because what he said was insulting, for she knew he didn't mean it that way, but because it was true. The minute they stepped through the door Sesshoumaru disappeared from her side. Her smile was just a little forced when she met his eyes, and he must have seen it because his own narrowed just a bit. "Yes, well, he's very busy tonight. Networking, I suppose."

"Yeah, well, how about I help you start to enjoy yourself while he… networks?"

She didn't know why she agreed; she knew Sesshoumaru would be angry with her. But what he said made her heart pinch just a bit, for she had been miserable since they arrived at the party two hours before. Sasuke was right; Sesshoumaru hadn't even stopped by her side once the whole time. And because of that, Kagome would deal with his anger at her dancing with another man later… when he finally found it in him to remember she was even there.

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed as he scanned the ballroom. He had felt her eyes on him the entire night, so when he suddenly felt… lonely, without her eyes on him, he knew that she must have left. Not the ballroom – there was no way Kagome would actually leave, especially since he's the one who brought her here, but left the room, and that made him worry. Someone called his name, and he turned to pay attention to one of his clients concerns. The entire night had been spent securing his investments and reassuring a few clients that had a shipment scare a few months ago.

There had been a renegade band of thieves that were going around to different weapon supply co., high jacking trucks en route to the various military bases and warehouses they were going to. Seeing the threat, Sesshoumaru added extra security to his shipments, mostly capable demons that would be able to handle the situation effectively and discreetly. His instincts had been dead on and his trucks were attacked, but thankfully his men had been able to handle the situation with no loss of goods. Despite that, it made Sesshoumaru worried about the escalating attacks.

He didn't want to, but if he had to he'd handle the business himself. It wouldn't be the first time he had to kill off a few terrorists or thieves since he joined in the new world of humans. All he had to do was use his poison; no scientist alive would be able to trace it, and by the time it burned through the humans, all trace of residual scent or poison would be gone.

"Sesshoumaru. Are you going to work the entire night? This is supposed to be a leisure party."

He turned and nodded his head in acknowledgement to Ken Watanabe, co-owner of the building the party was being held in. "I might as well reassure all my clients while they are in the same area."

Ken chuckled and handed Sesshoumaru a glass of brandy. "I suppose. I take it you came here alone?"

"No." Sesshoumaru once again scanned the crowd.

Looking surprised, Ken lowered the glass that he had raised half way to his mouth. "No shit? I don't think your lady friend is going to be very pleased at being ignored all night. The party will be over soon and I haven't seen you talk with a woman more than a minute all night."

Guilty, he sipped at his brandy. It was true; he _had_ ignored Kagome all night. She had dressed up so beautifully tonight too, and he knew it had all been for his benefit. He was pushing her away, and knew that if he didn't act soon he'd push her _too_ far away, for he had noticed the changes in her lately. Usually she'd always barge into his office everyday with homemade lunches and chatter throughout the lunch hour about her latest book and what she was adding to it, asking his opinions on what she should take away, and anything else that happened that day.

Her smiles would always cheer him up and he'd been happy that she cared enough to ask him his opinions on something so personal and precious such as her book, and the lunch hour would fly away into nothing. But lately she'd been distant. She came later to their lunch date more and more until she eventually stopped coming at all. She'd work later on her book than normal and would stay at her apartment longer and come back to his place later that usual. He was losing her.

It was his own fault, he knew it. He knew what she craved for he could smell it, and it drove him so wild he could hardly contain himself from ravaging her right on the spot, and he was honest enough with himself to be able to admit that it scared the hell out of him. He was scared to make love to her.

He knew that if he did, he would mate with her and bring her pain. When a demon mated with a human female, he didn't just mark her as his or even simply rut with her; he would change her entire molecular structure and make her an equal to himself. Not in strength or physical prowess, but her DNA would change from being just hers to being theirs. Her reproductive system would change and she'd start developing characteristics similar to her mate. Senses would become something new: she'd hear the same things he could hear and smell the same things he could smell, and even her brain matter would change similar to his, and he would be able to send his thoughts and emotions to her at will.

To some it sounded simple, and maybe to another demon it _was_ simple. But for a human it would be the most painful thing they would ever experience in their entire lifetime. Like what happened with Kikyo when Inuyasha tried mating with her; her body simply gave out and died because the changes were too radical and it hurt her to the point that she died simply to escape the pain. Inuyasha was only a half demon. If he could do that to a woman who had been as strong of a priestess like Kikyo, then he, Sesshoumaru, was scared shitless of what he could do to Kagome since he was to this day and age one of the most oldest and powerful full demon still living in the modern era.

His fear crippled him, and he hated that he was pushing her away because of it.

He loved Kagome, truly and deeply loved her, and he would die if she didn't make it through the ritual. He also knew that she would want to decide that for herself, but Sesshoumaru knew his Kagome and knew that she would want to be mated with him. Because she loved him.

And therein lies the rub, so to speak.

He didn't know what made him aware, but something made him turn to the dance floor and his blood very nearly froze when he watched her swirl around the dance floor in the arms of Ken's younger brother Sasuke, her beautiful face alive with a deep blush as she laughed as he whisked her around the floor. He heard something crack, and was barely aware of Ken's soft exclamation as he reached for Sesshoumaru's hand and gently removed the broken remains of his glass of brandy.

"Careful, Lord Sesshoumaru." Ken said softly, and it was only then did Sesshoumaru realize that he had been growling.

He swiped his hand through his hair in frustration and turned to his long time friend, asking help for the very first time in his life. "Can I speak to you privately?" He asked quietly, his eyes very serious when he met Ken's. "It's a matter of great importance to me."

Ken's dark brows rose, but he gestured silently towards a private study down the hall. Once the doors shut firmly behind them, Sesshoumaru let loose his frustration and growled viciously as he paced back and forth in front of Ken's desk. "You have mated with a human, have you not?"

"Yes," Ken said, lighting a cigarette. "I have." His dark brown eyes met Sesshoumaru's through the smoke. "Is this what worries you?"

Sesshoumaru had to stop and collect his thoughts, hating himself for appearing weak even in front of someone as close as Ken. "I… don't know if she'd survive through it." He was finally able to stop in front of the large bay windows that graced the far wall and he stared up at the moon, lost. "I cannot lose her."

Ken was silent, watching Sesshoumaru through narrowed eyes. He knew his friend had been seeing a human woman – a miko, if her scent was anything to go off of, and knew that Sesshoumaru must well and truly love her. Sesshoumaru would never show fear if he hadn't otherwise. "What makes you think she can't handle it? It's done all the time in this day and age."

He glared at Ken from over his shoulder. "Inuyasha is only a half demon, and his chosen mate died from it. He is still of Taisho descent, and the demon blood in him would have been strong. If a mere half breed was able to kill his woman by trying to mate, how can I be sure Kagome would be able to handle the blood of a full youkai?"

"Don't you think she would want to decide for herself?" Ken asked, stubbing out his cigarette. "Besides, Inuyasha is weak. His companion must have been weak. One of them must have held doubt for the mating not to have been completed, and there can be no doubts when two beings engage in something as strong and as powerful as it. And we both know I don't mean fucking. Are you saying that you do not love her?"

"I wouldn't be asking you otherwise." Sesshoumaru said quietly, his face turned once again towards the window.

"Then do you doubt her?" Ken sighed when Sesshoumaru didn't answer. "I suggest you speak with her about it. Nothing good will come of you ignoring her."

He knew that. He truly did. But he was so, so scared. Sesshoumaru did not lie; he _cannot_ lose her! He stood staring out the window long after Ken left, leaving only when he realized that the party must be ending since the buzz of the crowd was no longer as strong as before. He knew that she would be waiting for him – hoped that she would be waiting for him.

He found her in the near empty ballroom, slumped in a chair at a table by herself, the lily he had given her twirling absently between her beautiful fingers. He had never told her how lovely he found her, did he? He must have hurt her greatly throughout the entire time they had been together for never telling her. He just assumed she knew, for she always seemed to know what he was thinking. He was a fool; he knew just as much as any other demon that, to humans words are sometimes even more powerful than actions.

The ballroom was nearly empty now, only the servants were left cleaning the tables and a few guests were still mingling in the sidelines. She hadn't seen him yet since her back was to him, so she didn't know he was there until he came up behind her and wrapped his arms across her shoulders, hugging her to him as he buried his nose in her neck. Her pulse jumped wildly and he could actually hear her pulse and the rush of blood racing through her system, and his heart clenched with the knowledge of how much he truly loved this woman.

He should have hated her since she made him feel so uncharacteristic of himself, especially to himself, but he didn't. He would give everything to her, change everything of himself for her, and he thought that it was about time that he let her know it. Faintly, he felt her hands come up, one to touch his arm and the other to touch his head.

"Sesshoumaru?" She asked her voice soft. "What's wrong?"

He couldn't speak yet, so he merely shook his head against her neck and stayed there as long as he dared before standing, immediately pulling her up and to his side. Her blue eyes were so wide and searching, her brows creased with worry. Sighing, he picked up the lily she had dropped on the table in her surprise and tucked it back behind her ear. "Forgive me," He murmured to her. "For ignoring you."

She finally looked away and busied herself with reaching for her tiny white purse. "It's nothing. There were nice people here to keep me company."

"Yes, I could see that." He nearly growled, his hand tightening slightly on her arm.

She looked up at him in surprise, anger coloring her cheeks before she gave a defeated sigh and moved out of his embrace towards the exit. "I would have enjoyed myself better with _you_, Sesshoumaru."

The rest of the ride to his house was silent, Kagome staring out her window the entire time, apparently refusing to even look at him. Once they got inside, she merely patted his cheek as she went upstairs to her room to get ready for the night, the white lily once again out of her hair and in her hand, the blossom drooping from her fingers to face the ground. And as the coward that he was turning out to be, he let her go.

Kagome watched her reflection in her vanity mirror as she brushed out her long hair, clad in her silk camisole and bottoms Sesshoumaru had gotten her as a gift a little while ago. The white lily was in a small vase of water, and she gently traced the edges of the blossom slowly, her other hand setting down her brush. Hope stirred within her. Since she wouldn't let Sesshoumaru off the hook that easily she didn't say or act any differently, but hope was slowly blossoming inside her, along with a deep worry.

What was wrong with her Sesshoumaru?

His embrace from earlier spoke to her of something deep within him that he wasn't telling her, and she worried about what it was that hurting him or worrying him so deeply. Whatever it was, it was the reason he had been pushing her steadily away these last couple of months. She'd let him sweat for a little bit – or at least until tomorrow morning, but eventually she'd get down to the root of it and force him to tell her his troubles, if it came to that.

With a sigh she turned down the light and crawled into bed, closing her eyes to pretend to be asleep. She had this theory that if she pretended sleep on nights that she doubted she'd get any she'd be able to trick her body into letting loose some of its anxiety and maybe ruse it into falling asleep faster. It hardly ever worked, but it'd be able to lull her into a nice place where she wasn't exactly sleeping, but she wasn't entirely awake either.

At first she thought she was dreaming when she felt his hands on her face. His fingers seemed to trace and memorize every line, smoothing her brow and caressing her cheeks before his fingertips traced her lips. She was still caught up in the dream state, so instead of hot desire, her body was sluggish with pleasing warmth that made her feel cherished. She felt him sit on the side of the bed, the mattress dipping with his weight, and he gently stroked her hair. He weight left so suddenly she thought he left her, but then she felt his weight behind her, his strong arms come around her, and his beloved face burry itself in her thick black hair. Her heart broke a little, for these little actions told her all the more that something was deeply troubling him, and for whatever reason he was afraid to tell her.

"Kagome…" He whispered, and she felt him burry his face a little deeper into her hair, his nose softly touching the back her neck. When she didn't rouse from her dream state, he gently nipped at her neck and spoke her name a little more stronger. "Kagome."

"Hm?" She murmured sleepily, half afraid that if she opened her eyes he'd disappear, and she'd realize it had been a dream after all.

"Do you love me?"

What kind of question was that? She wondered idly, her hands reaching for the ones resting over her tummy before burrowing back a little deeper into his chest. "'Course I do." She mumbled, and finally she felt her mind settle a little bit deeper into actual sleep.

She wasn't certain, but she thought she heard him release a trembling breath before hugging her closer and saying, "Thank God." Before she finally drifted off to sleep.

She woke up the next morning alone, and the only way she knew he had even been there at all because her pillow still smelled like him. She laughed, hugging it close to her. He loved her. He loved her! The proof was on her pillow. Her laughter stopped abruptly and she sat up. He loved her, he had to, and yet… what was the reason for his withdrawal? She couldn't ask him now because she knew he'd be at work already, so she just hugged the pillow to her chest again and laughed until tears pricked her eyes.

Extra care was put into the large lunch she made for them, putting at least a little bit of all his favorite foods inside. She even baked him his favorite sweets. He'd never admit it aloud, but she knew that he was a secret lush when it came to desserts. Every time she made or brought home a cheesecake, he'd practically lick the plate clean. There was an extra pep to her step when she reached his office, and his secretary Himeko looked surprised and relieved to see her coming through the door.

Kagome grinned widely at the older woman before she stopped before the desk. "Is Sesshoumaru busy right now?"

Himeko leaned in close and whispered loudly. "Thank God you're here, Kagome-chan! Poor Mr. Sesshoumaru has been so distracted lately! I told him earlier how nice of a day it was today, and he told me he'd "get to it as soon as possible" and to "please put it on my desk"! I'm so glad you're here to cheer him up!"

Kagome kept the smile on her face, but inwardly she was frowning. What on earth…? That didn't sound like Sesshoumaru at all! "Thanks, Himeko-san."

When she walked in, he was standing staring out the window. Kagome sucked in a huge breath and put a big smile on her face and stepped forward. "You wouldn't believe the traffic today!"

He spun around so quickly Kagome almost jumped. Now she knew that whatever was bothering was something huge, for no one snuck up on _the_ Lord Sesshoumaru! She ignored his wide eyes and started to unpack her picnic basket. His desk was clear and spotless, telling her he hadn't worked at all today, and it also meant she didn't have to worry about moving his papers. "I have a new idea for the next chapter on my book. These last few chapter I was thinking about having my heroine just ditch the hero because he was being such a jerk to her, but I'm gonna change my mind."

"What are you changing it to?" He asked, and she worried more when his voice sounded strange.

"Well," She started, sitting neatly into his large plushy chair and crossing her legs. "I think she's going to give him another chance. There's something bothering him, maybe even an inner darkness that he's not telling her, and since she doesn't understand it she's taking it as rejection. But she loves him, you see, so she refuses to give up just yet."

Sesshoumaru walked up next to her and stared down at her artful array of foods, his eyes automatically locking onto the cheesecake bites she packed with strawberries, blueberries, and little chocolates. She really went all out today.

She hid her smile behind a bite of fried shrimp, and wasn't surprised when he reached for the dessert first. "What do you think? Should she give him another chance? Maybe wait until he's ready to tell her what's been bothering him?"

The hand that had been reaching for the cake hesitated only for a moment before he continued and picked it up, turning around slightly so he could lean his hip against the desk and stare intently down at her. "I think he should realize he doesn't deserve her, then stop being a coward and tell her what he's feeling. It's something very important to him."

Kagome wasn't smiling anymore, and her eyes were just as serious. "When should that happen?"

He smiled suddenly and popped the cake into his mouth. "Soon. He's not through with being a coward yet."

With a sigh, Kagome stood suddenly and wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest. "Alright," She murmured when she felt his mouth kiss her hair. "I suppose she can wait a little longer."

"She's truly too good for him." He hugged her close, content to merely hold her as tightly as she could handle.

After a while they both settled back to partake in her lunch. Knowing his habits, she pulled out an extra plate and piled food on it, leaving the rest for Sesshoumaru's amazingly large appetite. They chatted for the rest of the hour before Kagome knew that she had to go. She helped relieve him of some of his burden, and she knew that he would want to race to start the work that he slacked off of that morning. As she was washing her hands in the mini kitchen her cell phone started ringing.

She looked over her shoulder and gave a questioning smile. "Sessh? Can you please answer that?"

Sesshoumaru frowned down at the number flashing. "Did you give your number to anyone last night?"

"No," Kagome said as she soaped up her hands. "Why?"

"No reason," he muttered and flipped the phone open. "Hello?"

"Er, hello?" A male voice started, confused. "Is Kagome there?"

"Who is this?" He ignored Kagome's dry stare as she walked up beside him. It soothed his heart when she twined her arm with his and linked their fingers together as she leaned up against his side.

"Sasuke. Sasuke Watanabe. Who is this?" He asked, his voice starting to sound annoyed. He must have been on speaker, because Sesshoumaru heard him mutter under his breath. "Damn, Heiji had better have gotten the right number."

"I don't think you have the right to ask me that—"

Kagome snatched the phone away from him. "Hello?"

"Ah, Kagome! Who was that rude guy? Your brother?"

Kagome's brows rose nearly to her hairline, and Sesshoumaru settled to watch her face. Sasuke was about to find out one of Kagome's pet peeves. "Excuse me?"

"I wanted to see if you were still up for dinner tonight. I've got reservations for us the Rose Hotel." Sasuke said, his voice sounding warm.

Kagome's eyes narrowed and Sesshoumaru felt her fingers tighten around his in the beginning of temper. Kagome hated it when people called her personal cell phone without her first giving the number away. "Watanabe-san, do you really think that was my brother who answered the phone?"

"Ah, well, no. But I didn't think that would matter. I really like you, Kagome. I thought we had a connection last night."

Did he really say that? As Kagome's mouth dropped open, she felt Sesshoumaru's chest start to shake in silent laughter. She elbowed him and reached for the last cheesecake and shoved it in his mouth. "Um… look," she started. "I'm very flattered that you've taken such an interest in me, but I'm not, ah, on the market, so to speak."

"Well, I-"

Sesshoumaru snatched the phone back from her and snapped it shut. "Problem solved."

Laughing, Kagome slid in front of him and used her free hand to loop a finger in his belt and tug him closer. "Don't tell me you're jealous?"

"Of Sasuke?" Sesshoumaru settled his hand over the small of her back before hesitantly moving down to her bottom. She looked surprised, since he hadn't initiated anything sexual in a long time, but she only settled against him more comfortably. "As if I, Sesshoumaru, could feel threatened by that whelp. He's barely a century old."

Kagome rolled her eyes and laughed. "Yes, a baby."

Sesshoumaru let go of her hand so he rest his other hand over her bottom too, and pressed her close. Her eyes were darkening deliciously, and he felt his chained beast stir within its constraints. He leaned down and nipped at her bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth, breathing in her breathy moan before she reached up to grab his neck at the same time as she rose on her tip toes and claimed his mouth hungrily. Relieved, so relieved when she felt him reacting.

Then Himeko's voice broke through the moment. "Mr. Sesshoumaru?"

Kagome groaned and dropped back down on the balls of her heels as Sesshoumaru sighed into her mouth. He released her to go to his desk and press the intercom button. "Yes, Himeko?"

"Mr. Takani called in, he's freaking out about his last order. Says he thinks there's gonna be another attack."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed, his mind already clicking in gear. Kagome knew that he was already fully concentrating on whatever Mr. Takani's troubles were, so she used that time to clean up the rest of their lunch mess. Sesshoumaru was already hanging up with someone and dialing another number as she kissed his cheek and wiggled her fingers at him in farewell. He met her eyes and smiled before whoever it was on the other line picked up and he was distracted again.

Lighter than she had felt in weeks, Kagome drove back to her apartment, intent on getting some long hours full of writing done before she made her way back to Sesshoumaru's house.

\\\/

"Hey, Kagome!"

Turning, Kagome smiled at Inuyasha and waited for him to catch up to her. There was an open farmers market going on and she was buying fresh fruit from the stands. "Hey, Inuyasha. What are you doing here?"

He shrugged, walking with her. "I wanted to check out what was so great about this market. The girls in the office couldn't wait to get out and come here."

Kagome laughed a little and turned to inspect a few mangos. "It's just because most of this fruit is grown without any steroids added, so it's completely organic. That's really all it is. Then, of course, you have your vendors who are trying to sell you some knock off designer items for a couple of yen."

"You women are weird. What's wrong with merely getting jeans that fit you and a shirt that covers what you want?"

"Only a man would say that," Kagome sighed, "and then deny the fact that they appreciate the effort a woman takes in her appearance." She wagged her finger at him playfully. "And you know that if a woman took the time to make herself beautiful every morning you'd love staring at her ass all day. Or whatever it is you guys stare at on a woman."

"Keh. So where's Sesshoumaru? I figured you would have dragged him along with you or something."

"He's working really hard lately at the office, I guess there have been attacks on shipments, and I don't want to bother him." Kagome said and handed some money over for three ripe mangos. "He's been very distracted lately, which you should know that isn't like him, so I want to give him space."

Inuyasha studied her quiet face before gently grabbing her arm so she would turn and face him. "You're worried."

Kagome sighed. "How can I not be? It's completely unlike him."

Inuyasha wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulders and gave her a little squeeze. "Don't worry. Knowing Frosty, he'll be back on track in a couple of days."

She didn't want to tell him he'd been like this for a couple of months already, so she smiled up at him. "You're right. Say, you wanna have brunch with me?"

"Sure. Nothin' better to do."

They ate outside at a nearby café, Inuyasha bragging about a woman he had met the other day. Kagome smiled because she could already see stars in his eyes and was very happy for him. Inuyasha winked at her. "You know, she even tried mentioning that she'd hook you up, but you're practically married to Sesshoumaru, so I told her no. I promised I'd at least mention it to you though, so don't get mad!"

Practically married… They haven't even brought up the prospect of marriage at all. She knew eventually they'd get married, but since they had never gotten past 'second base' yet, and Kagome wondered if Sesshoumaru ever thought about going for a home run. She was certainly up for it, but she wanted to help Sesshoumaru through whatever funk he was in before she brought up any other kind of problems.

But she would never tell Inuyasha something like that. So she pretended to glare at him. "Don't get any ideas, mister! I don't care if you want to impress your lady friend; I'm not going on a date with anyone else!"

"Kagome?"

Both Kagome and Inuyasha turned to see Sasuke standing behind their table, dressed in a relaxed business suit. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at him. "Sasuke? What the hell are you doing over here?"

Sasuke ignored him and kept his eyes on Kagome. "This doesn't sound like the man who answered your phone earlier."

Drama, Kagome thought with an irritated sigh. You could never escape it. "Watanabe-san, how are you? This is Inuyasha, my boyfriend Sesshoumaru's brother."

"Keeping it in the family, I see." He said, but his voice was amused, meaning it only as a joke."

"Bastard, quit ignoring me!" Inuyasha turned to Kagome and jerked his thumb at Sasuke. "This guy knows both me and Sesshoumaru, so don't let him fool you." When he turned back to the other man, however, his irritation turned to a threatening expression. "She's Sesshoumaru's, Sasuke, so don't get any ideas."

He seemed completely unperturbed about Inuyasha and gave a careless shrug. "So you say. I'll see you later, Kagome."

"What audacity!" Kagome said softly, wondering the man had got his confidence from. Did he really think he could compete with Sesshoumaru? He obviously knew just who her man was, so why did he think he would be able to sway her away from him?

Inuyasha growled and took an angry bite out of his sandwich. "Damn bastard. He still thinks looking down on half demons makes him superior. Everyone knows he's his brother's bitch."

"That's very childish of you, Inuyasha." Kagome said with a roll of her eyes. "Who's his brother?"

"Ken Watanabe. You've probably met him before."

Thinking, Kagome remembered meeting a good friend of Sesshoumaru's with dark, handsome looks very similar to Sasuke's, but didn't remember his name. But since he had been the only friend of Sesshoumaru's that he cared enough about to introduce her to, she assumed it was this Ken Watanabe. Kagome nodded. "Yes, I've met him. A very serious man."

Inuyasha snorted. "You should've met him when he was younger. Thought he was the new Casanova, if you get what I'm saying. Then he met some human chick and has been properly leashed for good part of this century."

"You make it sound as if it's a bad thing." Kagome said dryly before she took a bite out of her salad.

Again, Inuyasha snorted as he shrugged. "Keh. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. But his reputation was almost as bad as Sesshoumaru's until he met that chick."

Slowly, Kagome raised her brow. "Almost as bad… as Sesshoumaru's?"

"Not like that!" Inuyasha said quickly. "I mean in the power department. Ken is a panther you-know-what, and is a little bit younger than myself and Sesshoumaru by about two centuries. Ken and Sasuke used to be big enemies of Sesshoumaru since they wanted to surpass him in power. After about three or four centuries the brothers settled in a truce since they could never best him, and Ken has been friends with Sesshoumaru ever since."

He frowned, looking where Sasuke disappeared to. "Sasuke, however, still has power issues. He's turned his attention from Sesshoumaru to his brother, and he's angry that he can't surpass him either."

"Sounds like someone I used to know." Kagome teased.

"Keh. At least I know when I'm beaten."

After that, conversation turned to a lighter subject, and they spent the next couple of hour's bullshitting before Inuyasha had to get back to work. Apparently Inuyasha worked two jobs, one as a night club owner and another as a board member to some alcohol company, so he was very busy. She was glad he took the time to visit with her, so she was in a good mood when she made it home. Sesshoumaru was already there, surprised her.

She blinked at him when he turned towards her and shut the door with her foot. "What are you doing home so early?"

He watched as she set her grocery bags on the kitchen counter and waited until she turned her complete attention to him before speaking. "I wanted to spend the rest of the day with you. Where have you been? I've been calling your cell."

Crinkling her brow, she pulled out her phone and made a soft exclamation at how early he had started calling her, true regret filling her. "I'm so sorry! I didn't know you were waiting for me all morning! My phone was on vibrate and I guess I just didn't notice when you called."

She went to him and wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed his frowning mouth. "I'm sorry." She kissed him a little deeper. "How can I make it up to you?"

She heard and felt his sigh when he finally allowed himself to wrap his arms tight around her and he angled his head to deepen the kiss. Fruit forgotten, Kagome tipped her head back and let her mouth be plundered. His hands were everywhere, and hers were racing over his body, tugging at his shirt, his pants, and yanking on his tie so he could be closer. When he finally tore himself away from her mouth, he trailed kisses and love bites all the way down her neck until he started focusing on the juncture of her neck and shoulder, his bites almost becoming painful. He bit her rather hard then, and she gasped at the pain.

Sesshoumaru froze, his entire body becoming stock still. Kagome started swearing heavily in her mind, berating herself for stopping him, and nearly cried when he gently pushed her away. She stood listlessly and stared at his rigid back for a moment before anger got the best of her and marched forward to tug sharply on his hair. "Sesshoumaru no Taisho, you better tell me why you stopped!"

His laugh sounded strangled when he finally turned towards her, and once he did he immediately drew her back up against him and let her feel his arousal and how much she had affected him.

"I don't want to hurt you." He said, and his voice was so serious that Kagome blinked.

"Um, I'm not exactly a virgin, Sessh. You won't hurt me." She stretched her arms up and wrapped them around his neck, pressing in invitation against his hardness.

"It's not that." He murmured, letting a pleasing purr escape his lips. "I won't be able to control myself. I'd mark you."

"Mark me?" Kagome queried, a little breathless.

He pulled back so he could look her in the eye. "As my mate, Kagome."

Kagome stilled with her eyes wide at this declaration. Mating was a very serious issue with demons and was very, very personal. It went beyond mere marriage to something deeper. Something like… soul mates. She knew exactly what happened to humans and the risk involved when a demon wished to mate with one, and had a sudden insight on why he had been pushing her away.

"Is this… is this why you've never wanted to… want to _be_ with me?" Kagome asked hesitantly, her arms tightening around his neck when he moved to pull away. She wouldn't let him back out this time.

Sesshoumaru's eyes were shadowed, but he said nothing for a long time. "Yes. I cannot lose you. I _refuse_ to lose you!"

She was crying suddenly, and buried her nose in her surprised demons neck. "Thank God! I thought you didn't desire me."

His hands were suddenly hard on her bottom, pressing her fiercely into his heat. "Believe me, I've… been avoiding your bed because I _desire_ you too much." His touch softened, and he slid his hands up to cup her shoulders and push her away enough so he'd be able to look her in the eye. "My demon blood is very strong. I… I don't want to hurt you."

Finally, she understood. He had been _afraid_ to sleep with her all this time, so afraid that he'd mark her and possibly kill her. She rested her head against his strong chest and held fistfuls of his shirt in her small hands. "Sesshoumaru," she started quietly. "I love you." His muscles twitched underneath her fingers, and she closed her eyes and smiled through her tears. "_I love you_. Do not be afraid. I won't die. I refuse to die during something so special and leave you all alone."

He held her so suddenly with a fierceness that actually hurt, but she wouldn't cry out this time. He dragged her shirt over her head roughly before his mouth feasted on her covered breasts, his lips tracing the edge of her bra. She yanked his tie off before unbuttoning his shirt with shaky fingers, gasping when he snapped open her bra and sucked a nipple into his mouth.

She clutched his head to her, her eyes staring dazedly up at the ceiling as she felt his teeth graze her. While he kissed his way up her neck, her fingers snapped open his slacks and plunged inside, smiling in satisfaction when she heard him gasp.

Oh, it's been so long… Sex before had never been that great since the only partner she had was Hojo, and they had experimented slowly together. They had never really graduated beyond the missionary position, and that was when she caught him red handed in the act of cheating. And yet, all Sesshoumaru had to do was touch her and she felt more pleasure than she ever had before. When his mouth sucked hard on her neck where he almost bit her, when that mouth moved up to nip at her chin and then claim her mouth once more, her heated mind could barely comprehend the pleasure flowing hot and slick through her quivering body.

He tugged off her jeans and underwear before sliding his hands down to the back her thighs and lifting her so she could wrap her legs around him. Before she could even blink they were in his bedroom, and he was laying her over his bed with the gentleness of a saint. He stood back and simply stared, his eyes loving every inch of her naked body before he met her eyes again, so dark with passion that they seemed black. His own eyes seemed to be glowing, at it made Kagome feel so special that she was able to incite such a reaction.

Slowly, he hooked his thumbs in his pants and slid the material down, watched as Kagome's eyes hungrily feasted on his body. He knelt at her feet, picking up one foot at kissing in the arch of each foot before kissing up her leg, smiling as his hand slid over tummy and felt how short of breaths she was taking. He kissed the inside of her thighs before slowly, slowly reaching up to kiss her deeply on her most private part. Kagome cried out and fisted the blankets under her as she came, then started laughing. Confused, he raised his head and stared at her.

Her face was beat red in embarrassment, and she was laughing because she came so early in foreplay and she hadn't expected to. Grinning, he buried head again and showed her exactly what the word pleasure symbolized. Only once she was slick with sweat at panting did he move over her, kissing her slowly and gently before he moved to the side and tenderly rolled her onto her stomach before kneeling above her, his hand reaching down under her tummy to pull her bottom back flush against him, and he shuddered when his turgid member slipped between her legs and brushed against her slick heat.

He kissed her spine, slowly making his way up before pulled her thick hair over her right shoulder, revealing the smooth curve of her neck to his feasting eyes. He wanted his mark to be right above her heart, a sign of both his dominance and love for her. He kissed her neck, finding just the right spot, before attaching his lips over it as he guided himself to her entrance, his other hand gently pushing down on the small of her back so her back was arched and pushed her shoulders down lower so her head was resting on her folded arms.

In once quick stroke he entered her, his mouth never moving away from her neck or the rushing pulse he felt underneath his tongue. He moved slowly at first, feeling her clench around him and her heat sucking at him like a vice, and shuddered once before quickening his pace. His hands first found her breasts, teasing her nipples before sliding down. One held her steady as he pounded into her, the other reaching further to touch where they were connected.

He was strung as tight as a bow, and he had to hold himself ruthlessly in check as he waited for her to reach the peak first. The minute he felt her clench around him, heard her voice cry out, he came along with her and sunk his elongated fangs into her neck, branding her his for the rest of eternity.

And this time her screams were not in pleasure.

She struggled against him, thrashing underneath him in an attempt to escape, and he ruthlessly bit down harder and pressed her down, dominating her in every possible way. Her blood tasted so sweet against his tongue, and he was instantly aroused again. This time he gave no thought to her pleasure, intent on his dominance as he simply thrusted mindlessly inside her while he opened his soul to her, forcing himself through the gates of her soul and stopping only once he was inside.

Sesshoumaru stopped his conquest of her soul then even while he still came and continued to use her body, and he waited for the blinding light of her soul to welcome his in, and came the minute he felt that hesitant touch of her aura. Blinding white engulfed the both of them, and he hardly acknowledged how she went limp underneath him for he had already collapsed on her, and all he could focus on was the fact their auras; their souls were blending, blending to become one.

Kagome felt her soul reach out to his, and whimpered at the hunger that filled her. She hurt; God, she hurt so fucking bad, and yet her body still hungered for his touch. The minute he had sunk his teeth in her she had went completely slack for one boneless second as raw need filled her. The world had faded right underneath her knees, and she was lost in darkness. But she could feel him. Her body was nearly numb with pain, and yet she felt his warmth, his comfort, and most of all his love surround her in this darkness and made her feel warm and protected. But then something happened and she was abruptly dropped back down to earth, and pain burned her from the inside out.

She had screamed, clawed to get herself away; from the pain and from him. Yet he ruthlessly held her down, bit her, plundered her, and dominated her, and she was once again lost in darkness. He was there again, no longer demanding or controlling, but asking her to let him in, pleading with her to accept him. It took only one heart beat for to reach for him, weeping with her need to have him with her always.

And then, it seemed, her heart was no longer her own. When it beat, she heard someone else's heart, felt someone else's heat, and wept with joy when the darkness disappeared and all that was left was blinding light and a feeling of being so full with joy that she could cry, and vaguely she knew that she was.

When she came to, Sesshoumaru had somehow wrapped himself in a blue silk robe and she was in his lap. His face was buried in her hair and he was rocking her. For a moment she thought that it must be really hot in here because her neck felt damp, but then she realized it was Sesshoumaru's tears.

"Sessh… Sesshoumaru?" She asked shakily, her voice a little hoarse as if she hadn't spoken in a couple of days.

Slowly, Sesshoumaru raised his head and stared down at her with haunted, tired eyes wide with amazement. Then he was clutching at her again, so hard that she thought it must hurt, yet somehow she was able to take it. It felt so nice being wrapped in his arms, so right, that she wept from happiness just for being near her mate. Only when Sesshoumaru jumped a little under her fingertips did she realize she was purring something, and instinctively knew that it was a sound made to soothe.

"It was so dark, Sesshoumaru. But so warm. I felt you. I felt you the entire time, and it was so wonderful. We're one now, aren't we?" She felt him nodding against her throat. She smiled dreamily. "I'm so happy."

When he didn't raise his head from her shoulder, the fuzziness in her brain cleared and she frowned, reaching up an unsteady hand to stroke the top of his head. "Sesshoumaru…? What's the matter?"

"You have been asleep for over four days." He said slowly, watching as her blue eyes widened and she cocked her head to the side. Did she not sense what his emotions were? "I thought you were going to die."

She smiled brightly and kissed him full on the mouth. "But I didn't. I promised, remember?"

He suddenly pounced on her, and she squeaked at how fast he was able to get her on her back. He started kissing her throat, stopping once again to lick and suckle on his mark, and instead of pain the world seemed to dissolve in wild, crazy world of pleasure as he once again slowly sank his teeth into her neck, and she found herself engulfed in a blaze of white light and feeling as he once again began to make love to her.

She had promised. He wondered if she really knew what that entailed, but would ask her later, when she was accustomed to what it meant be the mate of Lord Sesshoumaru. But for now and for always she was his, and he will never let her escape from him. A hundred years, another thousand, it did not matter. She was his.

Who could have ever thought that the outcome of one chance meeting could lead to this? That he would have bumped into her on the street after five hundred of never giving her a single thought, that she was now his life-mate. He remembered how she looked one year ago, dressed in a limp black cocktail dress and reeking of alcohol. He had been disgusted at first, but when she showed up at his house the next day dressed clean and elegant, he had been oddly relieved. He hadn't understood it then, but after the months went by and she stubbornly stuck by him, slowly he came to realize how he had recognized her instantly on that day one year ago, how it was that he could love her so quickly and fiercely when, at the time, he could hardly love himself.

He hadn't changed so drastically, however, that he'd be able to express himself to her in words of love, for he was still Sesshoumaru and after a thousand years of _being_ Sesshoumaru, the Demon Lord who held too much power in his hands and never showed emotion simply because he didn't _feel_ emotion until he met his Kagome. But he will love her with his body, with his soul, and in his actions.

She will never escape him. After a full year of abstinence caused by his foolish fear, he had to start to make up for time waiting for him.

Starting now.


End file.
